Big Gay Slowdown
Despite much good-natured pressure, my partner of twenty years and I have not gotten married. If we ever do marry, I know I will want an old fashioned wedding. Really old fashioned. When I get married, I want a country.
I am the Mr. Big of gay marriage. That said, I completely support the freedom to marry for all gay people. I believe my friends when they tell me how surprised they are at the transformational power of declaring their love before family and friends. I love hearing their stories.
I hate hearing their stories of the on-the-ground, hand-to-hand combat against anti-gay ballot initiatives in Florida, Arizona [again], and California. In California, two newly wed lesbian friends called me as they drove to yet another “No on 8” rally through a thicket of “Yes on 8” yard signs. The friend who was driving was distraught because her usually serene partner who was having a homicidal, screaming jag triggered by all the Yes signage. She asked me to talk her down. I suggested she drive on the lawns and take out some signs.
In this financial climate, in California alone, sixty million dollars is being spent for and against the basic human rights of gay people. You would think the attitude would be, “Oh for heaven’s sake, it’s almost the end of the world, let the gay people get married.”
If we defeat Prop Hate, I say we sue our adversaries for anti-gay harassment and to recoup our money. We can use the money to continue to provide for homeless LGBT youth, HIV AIDS support, and care for our elder gays.
If we do not defeat Prop Hate, I say November 5th we call for a general gay work slowdown. Decorators will do deliberately bad, possibly dangerous feng shui. Hairdressers will mistakenly lay hot curling irons down on ears. Social workers will give bad advice, “Your father sounds like a great guy. Show him some love.” Salespeople will ooze, “Oh, that looks great on you.” Waiters will serve cold food and suggest the wrong wine. Flight attendants will put ‘out of service’ signs on bathrooms midway through long-distance flights. Some nameless malaise will dim Broadway.
If gay people are not to be full citizens of this country, we should stop paying taxes. To make up for the lost funds, as an alternate revenue stream, it is time to tax churches that have encouraged anti-gay hatred through their bullying pulpits. The FBI recently released hate-crime statistics that showed a 1% decrease in hate crimes over all, but a 6% increase in anti-gay hate crimes.
When and if I get married, I want my country. Call me old-fashioned.
Solo
November 4, 2008 @ 1:38 am
Thank you Kate for a good needed laugh to relieve stress.
Here I am in Ca. pissed at Prop 8. If it is defeated I will definitely get married even thought I have been a closet case for 39 yrs.
I think I will get married at the end of the cul de sac where I live just to give kidney stones to all the neighbors displaying YES on 8 to save the family signs… of course they are also displaying their McCain-Palin signs.
I have friends with no money who want to vote republican for fear they will get taxed? … on what? Others want to protest because Hilary was not chosen … talk about cutting you nose to spite your face.
I want elections OVER we have been subjected to two years of campaigning and I am once again voting against someone rather than for someone.
I am old fashioned also, I don’t need a whole country, but my own space would be nice.
Get all the false prophets from Missouri and Utah people out of California, we might be the land of nuts and fruits but they are better for your health, than the fanatic fundamentalist.
That is my dos centavos for today.
Anonymous
November 11, 2008 @ 2:32 pm
You don’t get married for yourself if you are gay; you get married so that when little kids meet you they understand that your partner is your “wife” in the exact same way that the woman down the hall who lives with her husband is his “wife.” This expands the definition of “husband” and “wife” for children and will be the best route toward the end of discrimation. I learned this from my toddler when friends came to visit and I referred to one of them as the husband of the other. My daughter knew exactly what I meant–to her the husband of a man was exactly the same as the husband of a woman. As he should be, and as he is.