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It’s Half-Wit Time in America!
It’s Half-Time in America! Let’s bring to the field our half-time show!
It’s not the Madonna. It’s the Whore and her Marching Taliband led by that aspermative action majorette Rick “the P is silent” Sanctimoron. He’s from Old Dominion. Because of a dwindling supply of white people, the white wing of the Republican Party wants no sex education in schools, no choice for women and no contraceptives. The Catholic Bishoprics have not a moral leg to stand on since the pedo scandal. Retired Cardinal Egan just said they did nothing wrong and he never should have apologized. The Clothmen are trying to get the gov’t to enforce the laws they cannot make their own parishioners follow. And somehow THEY are the victims! Neat trick. Why not go hide in the catacombs again? Since unfair is unfair, I suggest – no insurance coverage for St. Viagra; prescription drug counter clerks can refuse to fill Ciallis prescriptions; every woman gets a can of mace and a gun. Just a reminder: the most reliable contraceptive is lesbianism.
What small thing could you do TODAY that would add the most value to someones life?
Kate wants to hear from you! The next question of the week, straight from Kate, is: What small thing could you do TODAY that would add the most value to someones life? To get your voice heard, simply hit the Comment link and tell her what you think! No registration is necessary, and you can post anonymously if you want.
Is That a Super-PAC?
Used to be if you were a comic one of the guaran-dam-teed high-larious things you could do was run for president. Pat Paulsen, Lily Tomlin of the “Stop It Party” and Ron Paul have all done it.
Now, thanks to Stephen Colbert, you can’t just run for president. No, now you have to have your own money- belching anonymous Super PAC. And me? I’m still trying to figure how to get my Kindle Fire books out of the goddam cloud. Sidebar: never fire up your Kindle Fire lying in bed. It’s like an over the bed porn mirror, not that I know anything about that, the point being, just don’t.
But after doing the math on;
Mitt Romney’s How Dare That Black Man Be President PAC;
Rick Sanscrotum’s No Man on Dog Sex PAC;
Jon Huntsman’s It’s My Daddy’s Money PAC;
Chuckie Gingrich’s I’ve Changed With Callista PAC;
Rick Perry’s I Walk Like This Because of My Penis PAC,
I have decided to join them.
I like Sarah Palin’s business plan: take the money and don’t run.
As always, the big challenge is coming up with a PAC name. Here’s what my crack team of consultants has come up with:
Embrace Your Extinction PAC;
Just Send Money to Tammy Baldwin PAC;
America, We Won’t Be Your Wedge Issue This Time PAC;
What is Your Damn Problem With Gay Marriage PAC.
My crack team, emphasis on the crack, doesn’t get the brevity soul of wit thing.
So I’ve decided to crowd-source, as the kids call it. What shall I call my PAC?