Sad. Mad. Glad.
Those were my emotional flash card options when I first started therapy. I would tell stories about growing up and my therapist would ask me how I felt. I’d start, “Well I think. . .” That’s when she started with the cards.
No matter what I think about the causes of the horrible cluster of recent gay suicides – about LGBT bullying, cyberspace, privacy, gay youth, Rev. Eddie Long, schools, the Catholic Church, anti-Social Networks – I feel sad for the families who have lost their sons and daughters, mad that bullying is still so prevalent and glad that everyone is talking about it.
I have been struck by the conversations I have had with my family and straight friends, who tell me how disturbing it is, how they worry about their children and grandchildren and wonder what can be done. I hang up the phone and look at it and think, “What do you think I’ve been talking about all these years?”
What they think is that the battle is won. They look at me and my dear partner and think, “You’re out. You’re comfortable. You’ve got a life.”
These suicides provide another flashpoint in our movement for full moral equality. This October 11, on yet another National Coming Out Day, I intend to come out to my family again and remind them that our battle is not over and that we need their help. Perhaps I’ll finally tell them my own stories of being bullied.
October 5, 2010 @ 10:15 pm
As usual, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Our well-meaning non-gay family and friends miss what’s obvious to us. Even here in Texas, we had family ask which name we were going to take when we had our Holy Union. We heard comments about how we’d save on income tax.
I only remember being bullied once as a kid….and I took that girl DOWN! 😉
But I was in the military before DADT…during the witch hunts. Legal bullying.
I think even we sometimes tend to believe that things are good because they are SO MUCH BETTER…but there’s still much work to be done. Thank you for yours!!
AND WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK TO DALLAS????
October 6, 2010 @ 12:26 am
“Miss Clinton”….. At the time I did not understand why your classroom always felt like a safe place to be at JD High School….but now I do. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. -David Blanchard
October 6, 2010 @ 12:53 am
When Cheryl and I were married, I remember my grandmother was worried because it wasn’t legal. I think she kept expecting the ceremony to be raided by the police. 🙂
What amazes me is two things: How my straight friends think that Cheryl and I have the same rights and benefits as they do in their marriages. And, how my friends (gay and straight) can vote for anti-gay candidates, especially the gay ones.
I don’t understand why school systems haven’t learned a thing since my childhood. I was bullied in school – not because I was gay – and the school did nothing, not even after the bullying escalated into a fight that broke my right collar bone. (But, that might be a good thing, I can tell you when the weather is going to turn cold or rain.) Why is the bullying of any kids allowed to continue? I blame the schools and the bullies’ parents. Somewhere along the lines, these kids were taught it is okay to pick on someone too small to defend themselves or different from them.