DEPARTMENT of DDSS
Unlike another Clinton, I think, “Don’t do stupid stuff,” is a great foreign and domestic policy mantra. It is certainly classier than some forrest grumpy, “Stupid is as stupid does.”
DDSS is very helpful on the home front:
“Don’t stand up on that rickety-ass chair to reach that bowl.”
“Don’t have that coffee this late.”
“Don’t tell him that about her. He is Radio Free Manhattan.”
“Do not steal an election. It’s just bad karma.”
“Don’t say, ‘America deserves a foreign policy that is more than ‘Don’t do stupid stuff’.’”
Especially before a mid-term election with the President’s low ratings and the Senate in the balance. That’s just stupid out loud.
DDSS is always helpful on the foreign front:
“Do not march into Russia in the winter without boots on the boots on the ground.”
“Do not preemptively invade other countries for your Dad or the fatherland. Go to therapy instead.”
“Don’t ever go into Afghanistan. Just don’t. Many have tried; all have failed.”
“Don’t let wonks divvy up territories based on whimsy and shiny pretty things. Actually rethink the whole notion of boundaries.”
“Don’t take the ISIS bucket challenge. Not smart.”
The morning after President Obama laid out his plan for icing ISIS, (FKA ‘Al Qeda’), I had a dreamy, what-if moment before groggily reading the news. What if President Obama had announced that he would build an international coalition of corporations for rebuilding roads, schools, power plants, hospitals in countries from the Arab Spring now turned ISIS Winter. Corporations – lovely, generous people – always need new markets. Instead of bombs, they would Amazon drone-drop in generators, earth-movers, medical supplies. AstraZeneca would donate anti-depressants for all water systems. After what citizens have been through, they’ll need it.
It was a lovely, peaceful, magical thinking moment. We could try smart for a change. We could try peace.
