World Serious
I’ve had a major recurrence of my Bush Tourette Syndrome*. At its peak, it was debilitating. Once when I was screaming at then somehow President George Bush on TV, a friend’s three-year-old, terrified by my outburst and very very bad language, pleaded softly, “Please use your inside voice.”
My doctors had warned me of a recurrence.
Nevertheless I am shocked by its virulence. It has been flaring up during the World Series, this year between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Texas Rangers. Perhaps my system is predisposed to relapse by the disoriented realization that neither team is the Yankees.
Both teams are young, scrappy, never-say-die and fun to watch. It’s not that.
It starts whenever the camera flashes on a Texas Ranger warming up in the on-deck circle. Over his right shoulder, slightly obscured by fencing, I spot a catatonically still Laura Bush with a twitching George next to her. Once after some nifty Ranger play the camera caught Bush smirkily high-fiving Ranger owner, Nolan Ryan.
Uncontrollable screaming seized me, veins popping out my neck, spittle hitting the flat screen.
Spitting is a big part of baseball but since this is a family website, I won’t give you my rant’s full rendition. Here is the gist: Why is George Bush having such a swell life for himself? Why is he not in jail?
*In using the descriptive “Bush” I mean no insult to anyone with Tourette syndrome.
October 25, 2011 @ 1:36 am
I ♥ Nolan Ryan. I cannot abide that W. sits next to him (or anywhere in the free world).
October 25, 2011 @ 4:19 am
No spitting on the flat screen!
October 26, 2011 @ 11:19 pm
I don’t blame you, I had the same problem everytime I saw his face flash on TV, or heard his voice on the radio. Laura Bush was probably catatonic because GWB was most likely drinking at the ballgame. Remember when he showed up for the women’s sand volleyball match at the Summer Olympics back in 2008? How embarassing for Laura Bush as GWB proceeded to get drunk, fall down while still in the stands, then drooled all over the players. On that count, I cannot blame him as who can resist a volleyball champ in those skimpy shorts they wear nowadays???
October 27, 2011 @ 4:22 am
Laura Bush used to be a person, incredibly even a librarian, but I’m afraid years of having sold out to the Bush family’s interests have probably hollowed her out. If you threw a pebble at her, it would go “ping.” I wish there was some hope that all along she’s been drafting her memoirs, and telling herself cooly, “Oh you f***ers, just you wait.”
October 28, 2011 @ 2:06 am
That is tooooo funny!!!
November 9, 2011 @ 8:57 am
I had to root for the St. Louis Cardinals, much as it pained me to root for cardinals in red hats (it’s a Recovering Catholic thing). I do not understand why that man is running around loose, still.